All I Really Need to Know I Learned From Noah's Ark
December 2, 1999
|
1. Don't miss the boat. 2. Don't forget that we're all in the same boat. 3. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark. 4. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big. 5. Don't listen to critics, just get on with what has to be done. 6. Build your future on high ground. 7. For safety's sake, travel in pairs. 8. Two heads are better than one. 9. Speed isn't always an advantage; the snails were on board with the cheetahs. 10. When you're stressed, float awhile. 11. Remember that the ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic was built by professionals. 12. Remember that woodpeckers inside are a larger threat than the storm outside. 13. No matter the storm, when you're one with God there's a rainbow waiting. Sunday School The Sunday School teacher asked, "How many of you children would like to go to Heaven?" All raised their hands except little Ronnie. The teacher asked him why not. "I'm sorry," Ronnie replied, "mommy told me to come right home after Sunday School."
Fishing A young boy came to Sunday school late. His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him, "Is there anything wrong?" The boy replied, "Well, I was going fishing, but my Dad told me that I needed to go to Church. The teacher was very impressed and asked, "Did your Dad explain why it was more important to go to Church than to go fishing? The boy replied, "Yes, Dad said he didn't have enough bait for both of us."
Little Tommy At Sunday School they were teaching how God had created everything, including human beings. Little Tommy, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and asked, "Tommy, what's the matter?" Little Tommy responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm gonna have a wife."
Little Johnny Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his Mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, Mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," she replied as she began to remove the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter," asked little Johnny. "Giving up all ready?"
|
