A Word from Women
May 2, 2001
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I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...
and I also know that I'm not blonde. -Dolly Parton You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -Erica Jong I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. -Rita Rudner My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. -Rita Rudner I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -Wendy Liebman Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. -Erma Bombeck If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing 'em. -Sue Grafton I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr I think, therefore I'm single. -Lizz Winstead When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. -Elayne Boosler Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. -Gilda Radner Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. -Glori Steinhem I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. -Marie Corelli Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. -Baroness Edith Summerskill If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your eck? -Linda Ellerbee
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