A thought from Jason
December 14, 2000
Tears filled His eyes
My life here at college has become a learning experience in itself. We have classroom time, but the time that is spent learning life lessons from the people around us can become exhausting sometimes. Recently my roommate told me that he would prefer to live with someone else next semester. This has been a part of a chain of events that has led me to believe that I have been abandoned.
The word abandoned is what I am experiencing now. I don't know why my roommate doesn't want to live with me next semester, but it probably arose from a disagreement we had some months back. The night he told me he wanted me gone, I sat down and began to think, what did I do? I racked my brain to see if I could come up with some logical thought that would take away the pain and hurt…The hurt that happens when someone tells you that they don't want you around anymore.
Have you ever experienced this? Someone tells you, "go away you are not needed anymore". I felt like a dirty piece of trash that was being thrown away. I prayed for God to teach me something out of this mess and I want to tell you something…He did.
If anyone in this entire universe knows pain and abandonment it's our Lord Jesus Christ. On his last night Jesus chose to have dinner with his disciples. He ate dinner with them knowing they all would run away from Him when things got tough. He probably ate His meal thinking about the man that would kiss Him and betray Him. Jesus even washed the feet of the men that would run away from Him.
I cannot fathom the love that Jesus has for us. In His last hours He took the twelve to the Garden of Gethsemane. It was probably a dark spot. He told His disciples, His friends, the people He had spent three years with to sit down and pray for Him. Then He grabbed His closest disciples, the two sons of Zebedee, and Peter. He wanted them close to Him.
Why was this so? Because our Lord wanted to feel loved in the hour that caused Him to sweat blood. Our Lord cried out to the Heavens, " if this cup can pass from me then do it, but not my will, but Yours".
Imagine knowing every detail of what was going to happen to you before your death. Jesus wringed His hands in pain and He was looking for some encouragement when He stood up and went to look for the faithful friends. When He turned around all He saw was sleeping men. The men not only couldn't stay awake with Him to be there for Him, but they would also desert Him and would run from Him when the mob came. Jesus, felt abandoned. He even woke them up one time to ask for their prayers. He wanted strength for His human body, for this hour... And the men He loved the most, left His side.
Since Jesus knows this pain, He would never ask us to ever feel this from Him. Read it again. God will never abandon you. He felt the kiss of the man He loved with all of His heart and immediately was seized by sinful men. The man whose feet He'd washed, the man He had called to follow Him, now kissed His cheek. I can only imagine what Jesus felt. His betrayer Judas kissed Him and gave Him to the Roman guards. Tears filled His eyes as He saw His friends His companions, one by one, run away. During this time too, Peter cut of one of the guard's ears. Jesus quickly rebuked Him and healed the man. What love God has for us. When we leave His side, when we betray Him for others, when we harm others He will be there. Always.
God will never leave you. It's a promise. And when Jesus promises something He means it. If you ever feel left alone, know that your Lord Jesus knows your feelings and He will supply you with a joy that only He knows. Jesus awaits your prayer. He awaits the time that you will step into Heaven and He will hold you, and today He wants to hold you.
When you feel abandoned, when you feel like things are never going to get better, when you don't see the answer, know that He has everything you could possibly need. What you miss, He has. What you need, He can supply. All He asks is for your voice to raise up to Him and ask for His embrace. He loves you.
Matthew 26:56… "Then all the disciples left Him and fled."
Matthew 28:20... "And lo I am with you always even to the end of
Have a blessed day.... Jason